The societal silence around painful sex and pelvic health is part of a larger systemic problem where our medical institutions, education systems, and insurance policies generally don’t support female sexual dysfunction,” explains Sauer. Another said the Kegel Toning Set was a ‘fun exercise programme,’ adding: “I have found that they not only tone my pelvic floor muscles but they also turn me on which is a bonus.” This broad, public reevaluation of norms and expectations around sex and pleasure, alongside the mainstreaming of the sexual health and wellness industry, then created cultural and economic space for a new wave of products designed by and/or for receptive partners. Which explains how and why a few other explicitly depth-limiting devices, like the established toy brand Perfect Fit's The Bumper Thrust Buffer, launched around the same time as the OhNut.

So how does it feel for the person with the vagina? You may think that shallower penetration doesn't feel as good. It's true that it's different, but it's still really pleasurable. At least, it’s a thousand times better than that stabbing vagina pain. It’s hard to explain — it’s like my body can tell that something is different, but, like my partner described, it doesn’t feel like anything is missing. We’re still having sex and even though we’re using our bodies a bit differently, the mechanics of the act are exactly the same. So, should I buy it? We feel this new range offers both sexes relief and workable ways to improve sexual satisfaction and performance.”I think we have a cultural myth that sex is supposed to be simple,” says Amy Steinhauer, a sex therapist from Evanston, Illinois. She notes attitudes toward sexual pain are “similar to how our larger culture tends to view mental health problems, unfortunately.” Denying the fact that sometimes sex hurts is like being embarrassed to have the flu,” Sauer says. “And this is not just a conversation for women. Men have been showing up in the most incredible ways, eager to learn. Our male testers find themselves asking, ‘Does this feel good? What about this?’” It’s essentially a soft bumper made from material that still gives the feeling of having full penetration for the person wearing it. Another product worth considering is the Silicone Dilator Set. If you suffer from vaginal tightness, these dilators can gradually increase in diameter so you can slowly introduce your body to penetration. Start with a less expensive model,” Fleming advises beginners. “Sometimes trying a more affordable model gives you a sense of what a sensation is like and whether you like it.” Of course, if you already know what feeling you like and you need a recommendation for the best sex toy that aligns with that, we’ve got you too. What should men know when trying new sex toys?

New York sex and relationship therapist Cyndi Darnell specializes in the psychosomatic aspect of painful intercourse. She explains that “psychosomatic” doesn’t mean that a patient is imagining their pain, but that there more factors that should be considered when approaching treatment. “Pelvic/sexual pain is very real and not imaginary. Persistent problems with painful intercourse can be approached through talk therapy, education and partner education,” she says. The object looks like its name — stretchy donuts — and fits around the base of a phallic object like a penis or sex toy. It also holds a condom in place.

What should men consider when shopping for sex toys?

Whip out that new toy when you’re actually turned on (and not as a way to turn yourself on). “Think of it as foreplay,” Fleming says. “If you want to build up reception to a new toy, start off when you’re already highly aroused. The research is clear that people tend to be more open and receptive when already aroused.” And if you don’t like the sensation of a new toy the very first time you use it, don’t give up on it just yet. “The first time we try anything, we’re doing what we call spectatoring, which is observing ourselves, how it’s going, what we thought, what our partner thought. We’re in our heads and not so much in the experience,” says Fleming. “So try, try again.” A penis-shortening device modeled after Giulelmus Fabricius Hildanus' description. Credit: Courtesy of Erwin Kompanje

Because pain during intercourse is a multi-faceted issue, it can sometimes be difficult to diagnose. Emily Sauer, founder of Lady Parts Justice League, is working for a future where painful intercourse will be history.She notes that women sometimes accept the pain they experience during intercourse because they believe it’s a biological reality or simply “bad sex.” The products in this range are made from body-safe, silky soft silicone which feels great next to the skin."