Reuseable cloth nappies are surprisingly easy to wash and don’t take up much time. You should not over fill your washing machine as the nappies need space to move about to ensure the water can clean properly and agitate them. We recommend around half or ¾ of the drum size. Equally make sure you have enough in the wash. Too little and your machine may not spin properly and can cause too many soap suds. When considering any parenting philosophy, there may be times another philosophy makes more sense. Conscious parenting may not be the right fit for every situation or child, depending on other parenting views and the personalities of those involved. Parents that are both supportive and demanding are considered authoritative. They can be very gentle and are often loving parents, but hold their kids to high standards. Authoritarian parenting Children aren’t ours to possess or own in any way. When we know this in the depths of our soul, we tailor our raising of them to their needs, rather than molding them to fit our needs.”

What we need to do is to become observers of our own behaviour when we are interacting with children. As Dr Shefali says, we must consciously become “vigilant witnesses of our own unconsciousness”. We have to pay attention to our habits, thoughts, emotions and presence. Without knowing the true purpose of education, they force their thought process on their children, thinking that it’s okay to do so. Parents punish their kids if they don’t perform well academically. Surprisingly, many of them don’t even know the syllabus their child is studying. When you parent, it’s crucial you realize you aren’t raising a “mini me,” but a spirit throbbing with its own signature. For this reason, it’s important to separate who you are from who each of your children is. Children aren’t ours to possess or own in any way. When we know this in the depths of our soul, we tailor our raising of them to their needs, rather than molding them to fit our needs.” Without our realizing, we so often endorse our children for their actions, rather than for just being. Celebrating our children’s being means allowing them to exist without the snares of our expectations. It’s to revel in their existence without them having to do a single thing, prove anything, or accomplish any kind of goal.”

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I’m not saying that having thoughts, emotions, or a positive self-image is bad. You don’t have to abstain from them; just don’t attach your sense of worth to them. That is a very important point. Having high standards is essential in parenting. Add loads of warmth and support, and you get authoritative parenting (or, as we love to call it – wise parenting) in a nutshell. However, you have to set the bar wisely. If you are looking for practical ways to become less reactive in any relationship, you have to learn to meet life in neutral state. Here is your new mantra to embrace “as-is-ness” of life: “It is what it is”. Why start with your own behavior? Well, our life experiences dictate how and why we do everything that we do — including, and maybe especially, raising children. Many of us, whether consciously or unconsciously, repeat patterns that we learned from our parents. Even more unsettling, our childhood traumas tend to inform our decision-making without us being aware of it. Key elements of conscious parenting The Conscious Parent Company is for Mums and Dads who want to make considered choices for their little ones today, to build them a better tomorrow.

If you don’t practice decision-making in your childhood, you may struggle to make major life decisions, such as those related to career and dating, later in life. If I had to criticize anything it is that the author also doesn’t have all the answers. There’s a lot of grey area to the “natural consequences” chapter. I would say in day to day life, only about 50% of all situations are so clear cut that “natural consequences” work. The rest, it does not apply. Either there’s outright danger, where our role as parents require intervention to guarantee the health of our kids. The book allows for that, but it’s everyone’s call as to which situations are actually harmful and which aren’t. It’s a grey zone. And there are other things where parent action or inaction causes consequences that cannot really be called natural. There’s a temptation to “create” natural consequences. So all in all, that concept needs to be taken with a grain of salt. It often works, but just as often, doesn’t. In fact, education is not about how much you have scored. It’s more about how much you have understood and how much you can apply in your life. It’s no surprise we fail to tune into our children’s essence. How can we listen to them, when so many of us barely listen to ourselves?” With the myth that the relationship between parent and child should be unidirectional shattered, the circular potential of this journey comes into view, as we discover that our children contribute to our growth in ways that are perhaps more profound than we can ever contribute to theirs.”

I will explain why, and also offer a small critique. But first the good stuff: This book will make you take another look at your role as a parent – what is it that you have to do? And it will make you take another look at your own childhood – what did your parents do? Parents need to focus on their own inner transformation and self-realization to better understand their child’s psychology.

You see, nobody is born great. Most of what we do in our lives, what we achieve, and how we ultimately view the world is decided by our conditioning. Any normal parent would think, “why do I have to go through transformation and all that hard work? I’m not a kid anymore.” Dr. Shefali has yet again gifted us with a paradigm shifting book of empowerment. This step-by-step guide is for all those who are ready to truly understand the journey of self-aware parenting. The Parenting Map is the roadmap to help break generational cycles and create an emotionally healthy environment for your family. In recent years, it’s become more clear just how much our childhood impacts us as adults, and Dr. Shefali’s compassionate, wise, and honest approach is needed now more than ever.” Ego is not just about being rude. If you have an attachment to your thoughts, beliefs, emotions, or any object in the world, you have ego. If we want to raise self-driven adults, we need to: focus on ourselves first, calm ourselves down and grow ourselves up ☺ requires loads of effort but offers loads of long-term benefits for both sides. Try it. There is only one way to learn conscious parentingOn one side, there are parents who don’t realize that they are making serious mistakes while parenting. The best part of this approach is that their children will also learn the importance of self-growth and self-realization. Dr. Tsabary spends a chapter on the “ego,” noting that parents often invest their own self-worth in a child’s ability to make them feel successful as parents, either through outward achievements or by resolving the parent’s emotional needs to feel loved or in control, for example. (“Ego” is a label drawn from Freudian psychology that I avoid, because I prefer to use more accessible, emotion-based language, such as “pride” or “shame.”) Dr. Tsabary has been featured in many major media outlets, including The Oprah Winfrey Show, the New York Times, and TEDx talks.

It’s a shame as I really like this author but this just goes on and on and on and on, no actual interesting facts or advice, plus it’s patronising. Making out every mother should cherish each moment. But I was very wrong. This book has helped me learn how not to over react and to stop trying to fix everything. You can either resist the situation (e.g. react emotionally) or accept the new reality (that includes accepting your feelings and taking a pause).Confused about what implementing this might look like in real life? Don’t worry, you’re not alone. So, here’s a real-life example of the conscious parenting style in action. Ultimately, debates provide clarity, if both parties are willing to change for the better future. Lesson #7: Accept the unique talents of your child. To accept children requires disengaging from toxic life-scripts and engaging each child on a cellular level. When you attune yourself to a child’s uniqueness, you realize it’s futile to try to parent with a cookiecutter approach. Instead, each child requires something different from you. Some children need a parent to be soft and gentle, whereas others need the parent to be more assertive – even “in their face”. Once you accept your children’s basic nature, you can contour your style to meet their temperament. To do so means letting go of your fantasies of yourself as a certain kind of parent and instead evolving into the parent you need to be for the particular child in front of you.” By silently witnessing our thoughts and feelings, we learn to accept them as they are, allowing them to rise and fall within us without resisting them or reacting to them. As you learn to be with your emotions, they will no longer overwhelm you. In the full acceptance of surrender, which is of a quite different character from mere resignation, you come to see that pain is simply pain, nothing more and nothing less. Yes, pain is painful— it’s meant to be. However, when you don’t fuel your pain by either resisting or reacting, but sit with it, it transforms itself into wisdom. Your wisdom will increase in line with your capacity for embracing all of your feelings, whatever their nature. Along with increased wisdom comes a greater capacity for compassion.”