That’s when I understood. The reason John wanted to try things differently had nothing to do with our love or care for each other. Top image: Joyce Huis / Unsplash. Two weeks ago, we published John’s story, a 40-year-old Singaporean man who has been swinging with his wife Mary since 2018. Now, we bring you the story from Mary’s perspective. Names have been changed. My husband and I kept things quiet as well, reinforcing our love for each other with a sunset blowjob on the balcony.

The concept of has come under scrutiny after a Mormon influencer on ‘MomTok’ revealed that she and her husband were involved in a ‘soft swinging’ community during a recent livestream. Soft swinging involves non-penetrative sexual relations outside of a marriage or primary relationship, as opposed to swinging or a ‘full swap’ where two or more couples will exchange partners and have sexual intercourse.

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How she got into it:“Depending on the state of each relationship and my boundaries with different partners, I had different experiences. In the beginning, when I was younger, it felt awkward based on my inability to be assertive about my wants and needs. It felt more like that group sex stereotype that you might see on TV or in porn… and definitely more male pleasure-centered.”

I thought the ultra sparkly costume I wore for that night’s metallic party would be the highlight of my day, but it was seeing our friends and community come together to make sure my partner had a birthday he would never forget. Everyone I spoke with stressed that newbies should go in with low expectations. For example, try watching your partner dance and make out with someone else. "Dancing can be foreplay," says Kenzie. "We can grind a little bit on the dance floor to make that connection" before taking it to a play space. It’s also a low-level activity to test your tolerance for non-monogamy. Remember what Brenna said earlier about salt? If you can’t handle seeing a dance floor make-out, you probably won’t be able to handle seeing their face full of someone else’s genitals.

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I haven’t told my family or close friends about this aspect of our relationship because I’m afraid they will think I am forced into it. I’m not ashamed of our actions. But I believe many people won’t understand our motivations. Make yourself as sexy as can be," suggests Doc. Have well-lit photos. Use couple shots over group shots. Each picture should serve a purpose. Put the fish down. It’s not much different than any other online dating profile photo guide — except now it’s two of you. The pleasure on his face was palpable as we gave him a blowjob together, as was the pleasure on ours when he took turns going down on us. The session ended with him taking her from behind while burying his fingers in me, leaving all of us sweaty and breathless. Some time in the morning, the ship pulled up offshore Rangiroa Atoll, where dolphins are known to frolic. As an anthropology and sociology graduate from NUS, I am inclined to think more critically about how we live our lives and how we view the goals we prescribe for ourselves.